🔗 Share this article Balancing the Yearning for Casual Encounters Whilst Seeking a Meaningful Relationship Being a homosexual male approaching 50, my life has involved numerous, largely enjoyable years engaging in casual sex with other men from my teenage years. During my fourth decade, I was in a committed partnership that lasted a significant period, but I never felt completely content, because I didn't experience love nor sexually nourished. Truthfully, my constant desire has been for uncommitted intimacy. Every time I start to date any man, once the newness dwindles, an impulse arises to have sex with other men again. Reflecting on the Possibility of Exclusive Commitment I am now wondering if I’ll ever be able to maintain a monogamous relationship. I understand that numerous homosexual males engage in open relationships, but from my observations, they appear like hard work, often resulting in significant pain and jealousy among all parties. In many ways, I want another man to care for me while allowing me to pursue other intimacies, however I fear the psychological toll this would cause. Is it best to keep having spontaneous encounters and acknowledge that a lasting partnership is not possible? I feel somewhat confused. Every person’s intimate path varies. Try not to think of your relationship needs or your ability to handle various forms of sexual unions as fixed. What you need in your current state could easily shift in the future; eventually you may find yourself less ambivalent and discover greater understanding and a comfortable path … or not. At some point you might meet a person who provides a life-changing chance for you through mirroring your desires completely … and at another point you may choose that non-committal encounters are best for you. Fretting over what lies ahead and playing endless speculation is simply rooted in fear and squandering of your efforts. Aim to stay present with your partners, and recognize the worth of each person you connect with intimately a sexual connection. If and when the time is right to strengthen true intimacy with a single person, it will be clear. The psychotherapist practices as a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in addressing intimacy issues.