I Am the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: A Candid Conversation.

The Austrian Oak is rightfully celebrated as an Hollywood heavyweight. However, at the height of his star power in the late 20th century, he also headlined several genuinely hilarious comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its 35th anniversary this December.

The Story and An Iconic Moment

In the classic film, Schwarzenegger plays a hardened detective who poses as a schoolteacher to catch a killer. For much of the story, the crime storyline acts as a basic structure for the star to have charming interactions with kids. The most unforgettable involves a little boy named Joseph, who unprompted stands up and states the stoic star, “It's boys who have a penis, girls have a vagina.” The Terminator replies icily, “I appreciate the insight.”

The boy behind the line was portrayed by former young actor Miko Hughes. His career encompassed a recurring role on Full House as the schoolyard menace to the Olsen twins and the character of the resurrected boy in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with several projects in development. Furthermore, he frequently attends fan conventions. He recently recalled his memories from the production after all this time.

Behind the Scenes

Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.

Wow, I don't recall being four. Do you remember anything from that time?

Yeah, a little bit. They're flashes. They're like mental photographs.

Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?

My family, especially my mother would accompany me to auditions. Often it was like a cattle call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all simply wait around, be seen, be in there briefly, deliver a quick line they wanted and then leave. My parents would help me learn the words and then, as soon as I could read, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?

He was very kind. He was fun. He was good-natured, which I suppose makes sense. It would be strange if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a productive set. He was great to work with.

“It would be strange if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”

I understood he was a huge celebrity because my family informed me, but I had never really seen his movies. I knew the air around him — it was exciting — but he didn't frighten me. He was just fun and I just wanted to play with him when he had time. He was occupied, of course, but he'd occasionally joke around here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd show his strength and we'd be hanging off. He was incredibly giving. He bought every kid in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was the hottest tech. It was the hottest tech out there, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It finally gave out. I also have a real silver whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.

Do you remember your time filming as being enjoyable?

You know, it's funny, that movie became a phenomenon. It was such a big movie, and it was a wonderful time, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, the direction of Ivan Reitman, the location shoot, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. Like, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was new. That was the coolest toy, and I was pretty good at it. I was the youngest and some of the older kids would ask for my help to pass certain levels on games because I could do it, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.

The Line

OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember the context? Did you know what you were saying?

At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word shocking meant, but I understood it was edgy and it made adults laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I wouldn't usually utter, but I was given approval in this case because it was comedic.

“She really wrestled with it.”

How it originated, from what I understand, was they were still developing characters. A few scenes were established early on, but once they had the kids together, it was more of a collaboration, but they developed it during shooting and, presumably the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't answer immediately. She said, "I need to consider this, I need time" and took a day or two. She deliberated carefully. She said she wasn't sure, but she thought it could end up as one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and she was right.