Nighttime Personalities Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Plan

TV's leading entertainers spent the evening criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's newly launched visa initiative, called the "golden visa," portraying it as a clear cash-for-residency scheme for the wealthy.

Stephen Colbert's Witty Spin

Starting his show, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic holiday song directed at the president. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, and then handing that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... ruins all he comes into contact with."

Colbert's target was the controversial initiative which allows overseas individuals to acquire U.S. legal status for a sum of one million dollars, or "premium" version for five million. An official website pledges approval "in record time."

"A quick note for you to wealthy applicants: prior to you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert joked.

He explained that the scheme is also meant to "squeeze cash" from firms wishing to hire skilled workers, requiring significant payments. "That is a lot of fees, though if you sign up, you additionally get free accommodation at a hotel of your selection – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he added.

"The most thorough vetting the U.S. government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to verify these applicants completely meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"Here's a card that will let rich foreigners to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get legal resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choice."

"Perhaps it's time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your poor masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel lampooned the lack of detail of the application, saying it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Indeed, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Affordability Struggles

On another network, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's slipping poll ratings amid economic concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a second term since they were mad about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a bid to discuss prices, Trump held a press conference in front of a array of grocery items, and behaved oddly to some cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while."

"He's so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by criticizing right-leaning media coverage of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps rather than complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he laughed.